The Downhill Lie: A Hacker's Return to a Ruinous Sport

The Downhill Lie: A Hacker's Return to a Ruinous Sport
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Manufacturer: Knopf
Average Customer Rating: Average rating of 4.0/5Average rating of 4.0/5Average rating of 4.0/5Average rating of 4.0/5Average rating of 4.0/5

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Binding: Hardcover
Dewey Decimal Number: 796.352092
EAN: 9780307266538
ISBN: 0307266532
Label: Knopf
Manufacturer: Knopf
Number Of Items: 1
Number Of Pages: 224
Publication Date: 2008-05-06
Publisher: Knopf
Release Date: 2008-05-06
Studio: Knopf

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Editorial Reviews:

Ever wonder how to retrieve a sunken golf cart from a snake-infested lake? Or which club in your bag is best suited for combat against a horde of rats? If these and other sporting questions are gnawing at you, The Downhill Lie, Carl Hiaasen’s hilarious confessional about returning to the fairways after a thirty-two-year absence, is definitely the book for you.

Originally drawn to the game by his father, Carl wisely quit golfing in 1973, when “Richard Nixon was hunkered down like a meth-crazed badger in the White House, Hank Aaron was one dinger shy of Babe Ruth’s all-time home run record, and The Who had just released Quadrophenia.” But some ambitions refuse to die, and as the years—and memories of shanked 7-irons—faded, it dawned on Carl that there might be one thing in life he could do better in middle age than he could as a youth. So gradually he ventured back to the dreaded driving range, this time as the father of a five-year-old son—and also as a grandfather.

“What possesses a man to return in midlife to a game at which he’d never excelled in his prime, and which in fact had dealt him mostly failure, angst and exasperation? Here’s why I did it: I’m one sick bastard.”

And thus we have Carl’s foray into a world of baffling titanium technology, high-priced golf gurus, bizarre infomercial gimmicks and the mind-bending phenomenon of Tiger Woods; a maddening universe of hooks and slices where Carl ultimately—and foolishly—agrees to compete in a country-club tournament against players who can actually hit the ball. “That’s the secret of the sport’s infernal seduction,” he writes. “It surrenders just enough good shots to let you talk yourself out of quitting.”

Hiaasen’s chronicle of his shaky return to this bedeviling pastime and the ensuing demolition of his self-esteem—culminating with the savage 45-hole tournament—will have you rolling with laughter. Yet the bittersweet memories of playing with his own father and the glow he feels when watching his own young son belt the ball down the fairway will also touch your heart. Forget Tiger, Phil and Ernie. If you want to understand the true lure of golf, turn to Carl Hiaasen, who has written an extraordinary book for the ordinary hacker.




Spotlight customer reviews:

Customer Rating: Average rating of 5/5Average rating of 5/5Average rating of 5/5Average rating of 5/5Average rating of 5/5
Summary: A good read for golfers and the game's innocent bystanders.
Comment: Carl Hiaasen was introduced to the game of golf by his father, who, to Carl's nearly life-long disappointment, was a very good golfer. On a whim that could be argued to be both mature and immature, he gave up the game in his early twenties because he wasn't able to improve. The Downhill Lie is the window through which we see his return to the game.

Hiaasen goes to many extremes to improve his game. He reads every piece of literature on the game and buys some hilarious info-mercial products that make lofty promises. He joins a golf course, buys new clubs (and more new clubs), takes lessons, re-engineers his swing, and ultimately enters a tournament.

For many reasons, which include his disposable income; his available free time; and that this became an assignment from his publisher, Hiaasen is able to go to greater lengths than most golfers who want to get better. But that doesn't mean those golfers, a category into which I fit, haven't thought about trying any or all of the things he did in the book. That contributes to the hilarious, but humbling nature of the book. We can laugh at his exploits as he does, and maybe we can learn some of the lessons he does as well.

This book is more than a diary of Carl Hiaasen's golf rounds. The Downhill Lie is a poignant commentary on why so many of us endure the constant frustrations associated with the game of golf. The author uses the comedy of his situation to show exactly why, when this game keeps knocking us down, we get right back up and make another tee time.

I recommend this book if you struggle with golf, or know someone who does (which I think is just about everyone, right?). This book will probably not help you be a better golfer, but at least you'll see you're not alone. If you aren't into the game yourself, and you've wondered why we torture ourselves the way we do, The Downhill Lie offers great insight. It was both funny and right-on-target portraying the mind of a golfer...or most golfers anyway. I really liked this book.


Customer Rating: Average rating of 5/5Average rating of 5/5Average rating of 5/5Average rating of 5/5Average rating of 5/5
Summary: Toad Flinging and Monkey Golf
Comment: First, let me preface this by confessing my own golfing experience is limited to one class in high school where I became infamous for hitting the teacher in the head with a wiffle ball. Fortunately we were practicing with golfball-sized wiffle balls and not the regulation golfball, or the teacher might have required medical attention.

In addition, both my brother and father play golf in the Florida equatorial heat while dodging gators strategically sunning themselves near the many ponds and lakes of Florida golf courses. It's especially dangerous during gator mating season when either the male gator thinks you're trying to make time with his woman if you go after an errant ball, or the female gator thinks you're stealing one of her eggs. Good times.

Carl Hiaason has written a great book about golf. I don't play golf, but I loved this book and laughed aloud many times while reading it. His tip on getting rid of huge toads by chipping them into the neighbor's yard was worth the price of the book. For those of you complaining about his comments about growth in Florida, just take a drive from the west coast to the east on Alligator Alley and take a look at how Miami keeps creeping further and further into the Everglades. The is the ONLY EVERGLADES on the entire planet Earth, by the way. Yet still we must build, build, build on it.

You will not be disappointed with The Downhill Lie: A Hacker's Return to a Ruinous Sport. This book comes with waterfront property in Geritol Bay and membership in their country club with golf course designed by Hall of Fame Golfer, Ralph Kramden. Enjoy the 145 mph winds in the summer as the lanai is ripped from your house and your pool cage relocates to North Dakota. Bask in the 95 degree summer heat with 100% humidity. Forget about going anywhere during the cooler months when all the tourists are clogging the roads. Cheer as the professional sports teams don't score, don't win, and make you want to go to their games incognito. Laugh when tourists run from the water yelling "Shark!" while dolphins leap merrily from the waves. But, whatever you do, buy this book. And then, read this book. There will be a test.

Customer Rating: Average rating of 5/5Average rating of 5/5Average rating of 5/5Average rating of 5/5Average rating of 5/5
Summary: Laugh out loud funny
Comment: My wife bought me this book and kept asking me if I had looked at it yet. Already in the middle of two other golf books - one being instructional I said no, not yet. She insisted that I at least read the first few pages to see if it was something I would like. Well, within 5 minutes of cracking it open I was in stitches and I was hooked. Carl has a wonderful writing style that just sucks you in. As a golf hack who found the sport well after my 20's I especially enjoyed his perspective.

Customer Rating: Average rating of 5/5Average rating of 5/5Average rating of 5/5Average rating of 5/5Average rating of 5/5
Summary: Based on Excerpts in Sports Illustrated - A Hole in One
Comment: Sports Illustrated published two excerpts of this book recently - in the Players Championship Special Issue and in the May 12, 2008 regular issue. Although there was some overlap, together the two excerpts paint a hilarious autobiographical picture of the author's attempted return to golf. Laugh-out-loud funny doesn't begin to describe the section of the excerpt in May 12th SI titled "Toad Golf". I have never laughed so hard when reading SI. I'm buying the book, and, hopefully, it will provide as much enjoyment.

Customer Rating: Average rating of 4/5Average rating of 4/5Average rating of 4/5Average rating of 4/5Average rating of 4/5
Summary: is this the hiaasen we know and love?
Comment: Downhill Lie has some very funny parts to it: Hiaasen has a wonderful self-deprecating sense of humor. You'll find tales of toad-wedging: golf practice that consists of chipping toads onto neighbors' houses. You'll find that golf clubs make effective rat bashers. I suspect that the ASPCA wil find some things to offend them here. You'll read about the time he lost a golf cart--it slipped into a pond.

But I founf myself scratching my head in wonderment at times. Hiaasen is not, to be sure, a scratch golfer, but he has a voracious appetite to improve his game--as most golfers do. But we see him resorting to buying things--pendants with wonder powers to hang around your neck (only 75% as effective if kept in your pocket), herbal pills to improve "muscle memory", RadarGolf devices to help you locate lost balls, and the like. I'm at a loss here. Didn't we see Hiaasen regularly poking fun at the people who bought such devices in many of his novels? In Double Whammy, for instance, there's the unforgettable image of a cheap skiff hauled by a garbage truck to a tournament, and fishing with cheap equipment, when everyone else arrives with massive gadgetry--fish radar, gimmicks galore, etc. Hiaasen had always seemed to be fond of satirizing those who shell out large amounts of money for the kinds of devices he happily buys in Downhill Lie. There's almost an element of Eliot Spitzer here.

I would guess that Hiaasen describes parts of perhaps 200 rounds of golf. Some of this is a pleasure and a delight to read. Some of it is, well....have you ever heard a golfer tell you about one of his rounds, shot by shot, hole by hole? It's never actually that bad or that detailed--but there are times when you feel as if half your mind was on other things. This is also an instructive book--if you're lucky, you'll begin to get the idea that spending lots of money--lots and lots of money--will not guarantee that you'll reduce your handicap. Another element of the book, which you should learn in an indirect fashion, is that the crucial thing is that you should enjoy the game: Hiaasen almost seems too driven, that perhaps he should understand that some people are destined to remain 15-18 handicap golfers, and that you can accept your limitations. When I played golf, I had about a 30 handicap: a duck hook or a topped ball--well, so what's new? Enjoy the occasional decent shot. I often played with a colleague who had about a 3 handicap--when he mishit a shot, he'd go into a blue funk for several holes. I think I enjoyed the game more than he did. So the lesson from this book is--have fun, and don't make such a big deal about improving your handicap by 5 strokes. Hiaasen, at least, can make fun of himself--which too many golfers cannot do.


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